I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
