Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His nipple licking is glorious
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