There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
