I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize