Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
