You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
