I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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