it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
