i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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