Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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