I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
