I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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