Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
