So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
