Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
