I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
