If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize