this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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