its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
