That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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