one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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