I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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