I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
