I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize