I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Semen is not good for contacts.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
