I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
