He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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