he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
