Dual....:-)
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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