someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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