Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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