did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How does one acquire holy water?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
