Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
