I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
