Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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