dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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