people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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