Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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