All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
