Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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