It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
