you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
