just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We left an ass print on the piano.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize