If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
