Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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