Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
