I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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