Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
