Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize