just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
