you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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