I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
