i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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