I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
