So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Drunk is not a location!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
