Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
ok first of all what the fuck
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
