exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
