It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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