ya dads aren't the best wingmen
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
