He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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