Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
