I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
