So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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