guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize