Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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