I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
