Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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