Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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