there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
