What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
