I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
