it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
