:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
