Cold hands, warm shart.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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