I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
