Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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