Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
